Then I Thought of God and Forgot About Myself

I can't believe it!

On September 22, I will have been blogging for four years.

How can that be?

I remember when I first got on facebook.

I struggled along trying to figure it out and made my kids a nervous wreck, they never knew what mom might accidentally do, or flat out  say on purpose.

I didn't really know what you were supposed to post so I just started posting whatever was going on at our place.

I just told you about it like you were one of us, I didn't know what else to do.

Then people started telling me they liked it.

They started telling me to start a blog, I thought...what they are really saying is, "Will you get off of facebook and go blog somewhere! "

So one evening Lucas and Tim sat down and set up my blog and as they say, the rest is history.

And history it is because things have changed.

Nothing is the same.

When I started blogging I had something to tell almost every minute of everyday.

The house was full of kids, ours and other kids.

Funny things happened all the time,  emotional things happened, life happened.

So I shared them because I knew you would understand, I knew you would get it.

You did get it.

So much so, you started telling me to write a book.

I could never write a book.

I'm not a good writer, I mean I can explain what I see and what I feel but I don't do it correctly, I just do it like I feel it.

I don't sit down at the computer and try to write.

I'll be doing dishes or folding clothes or rolling out pie crust and I'll think about something, so I stop, wipe my hands off and come over here to the counter where the computer is and I tell you all about it.

I don't think about it, I don't go over it again and again,( thus all the mistakes you have to muddle through,)  when  I'm done talking I just hit publish and go back to what I was doing.

Sort of like you are here with me and we're just talking, I just type the same as I would talk  if you were standing here.

I never wanted to write a book because I knew if I sat down and tried to think of something to write I would come up blank.

Plus it just didn't seem like it was for me.

I didn't think I could ever do that and really didn't even want to.

It would take to much time and tax my brain.

But isn't that just like God, He has been writing this book all along the way.

The whole time I thought I couldn't...I was right, because he was  writing, the book I mean.

One day at a time, one post at a time He was making a book.

I've worried that it's to simple, I mean it is simple, simple as the dirt but it works.

We found out after I got the books that it had been skipped over by the editing department, well you know me and you know I need edited so I worried about that.

When they first started looking at what I had, they said they didn't want to change it, so somehow that got mixed up and turned into don't edit and so now we have a book with mistakes.

Well, I got all tore up over that.

I didn't even want to tell you about the book, I thought I should just be done with it.

I mean everything I read, said that a poorly edited book will never succeed.

But then I thought.....this book isn't my book anyway.

This book is God's,  he gave me thoughts, he opened my eyes and he gave me  words.

I could never see what I see and know how to say what's said, if he didn't tell me, if he hadn't put that in me I could never do it.

It was like the Holy Spirit was zooming around my head trying to tell me something but I was to busy stewing to listen.

He was telling me that this book wasn't about me doing everything right.

God is strong when I'm weak.

He doesn't need me to be perfect for others to see him.

He reflects perfection out of my imperfection.

So as always seems the case with me, I've been humbled.

God always keeps me in my place but he is always tender about it.

If I had wrote the perfect book, if everything was correct I know some pride would have crept in, I don't want it to but I'm afraid it would have found a crack and made it's way in.

This way, there is no room for human pride.

The selling out of this book more than once can only be from the hand of God.

I pray that when you read the book you will think about him, and all his glory and his mercy.

That's what I think about, because he has been so merciful to me.

I'm so excited about what he is doing and how good that he is and I give him all the praise and glory.