This topic came up at one of our Bible studies so I got to thinking about it decided to share some thoughts.
It seems there are always questions about parenting and when our children become teens and make the transition to being adults sometimes it seems harder.
We're at that stage now.
Our kids are pretty much on their own living their own lives.
So here are a couple of things older wiser people told me and I have tried to abide by a lot of it.
First, love who your children love.
An elder in the church once told me that since the time their children had been very small they prayed for the people they would marry and they also determined that they would love whoever their children married.
There is a lot to that.
They may not be who you would have picked.
They may not be as handsome or pretty or smart or spiritual or financially stable as you would like but if they love them we must love them too.
If it is truly a bad choice we will cut off any opportuinty we may have to help or infulence if we don't first love.
Secondly, once they reach the mid to later teens or so, they already know what we beleive so we don't have to keep telling them.
They have been hearing it for years.
They will have taken i,t or they won't.
Or maybe they won't take it until later but there comes a time depending on the childs' make up when we just have to be still.
Now this isn't to say there aren't sometimes we will need to speak up but it is going to have to start being less and less.
Third, we have to let them go.
You can't continue to call the shots for them.
You have to see them as the men and women they are and respect that.
Don't call them,, let them call you.
Don't give advice....listen.
If they ask give advice but not a lecture.
Be honest with yourself, go back to your youth.
You loved your mom and dad you respected them and wanted to honor them but there came a time you just had to move on.
Even now we all know how it is when our moms and dads start over parenting us.
What do we do?
We tune them out.
What makes us think ours won't do the same?
There comes a time you have to set them free,
If we don't let them go, they will be forced to push away.
I don't call my kids very often,
I let them call me.
I don't go to their houses unless I'm invited.
I let them come home.
I don't ask a bunch of quesitons.
I let them tell....well okay, I'm working on this one. ;)
The point is let's not rob them of the time of being young and excited and ready to take on the world.
Let them make their way, let them write their story.
Some of it will hurt but years later it will be the hurtful, hard parts they will treasure most.
It will be what makes them into fine young men and women and what will but the backbone in a marriage and the strength in a family.
So step back and let them go, besides after all these years, you probably need to go take a nap anyway.
It' okay go ahead turn loose, they will make it.