I Practiced What I Preached, I Listened Quietly... Sorta

Remember me telling you about how every time I post  how we should be, I am almost instantly put in a place where I have to eat my words,  live up to them or both.

It happened again.

If you are a follower of my page you know I have been posting about listening. Just tips and hints about being a good listener.

Well, guess what? Mark told me something and I didn't want to listen, I wanted to scream, but I knew screaming wouldn't change anything because I've taken that approach other times over the last 30 years to no avail.

Olivia's open house is this Sunday.

The chickens all went out earlier in the week.

This is  a good thing, I thought Mark would be a little less stressed and have some extra time.

He just told me a man called and wants chicken litter, a lot of chicken litter.

That means cleaning out the barns, that mean stirring up the smell and attracting flies.

He sees no problem with this.  He has no idea why I should be concerned about cleaning out barns and hosting an open house all in the same weekend.

But then this is the same man who found a large dead feeder steer  on the fourth of July one year and brought it to the end of the drive way for the dead animal wagon to pick up.

It was 97 degrees and we were having both sides of the family for fireworks and a cookout and this steer was at the head of the driveway as they pulled in.

The only thing that saved me was they were all farmers too or had been farmers and knew the routine but still, I mean really, on the fourth of July.

Soooo, since I had just told you all how we should practice being the listener we want to be, that's what I did.

I didn't say a word, I practiced what I  preached, I just listened.

Well, really I was giving him the silent treatment but it sounds much nicer to say I just listened quietly.

Our Homeschool Journey Ends Today and It's Been Wonderful!

After being sad last night I am much improved this morning.

Last night I had already gone to bed when Olivia came in and laid her sweet little head down with me and said, "Mom, tomorrow is my last day of school."

Suddenly the last twenty years of my life flashed before my eyes.

It had been almost twenty years ago I had started to home school Heidi and now here was my baby girl telling me only one more day.

Maybe it was because it was late or because it was dark or because Liv was there beside me but I was surprised to be so emotional.

You see, I've dreamed of this day.



Heidi Joi, Jessica Joi, Lucas Marshall and Olivia Joi

I dreamed of it on those days when the last thing I wanted to do was to have school and the last thing they wanted to do was to have school.

I dreamed of it on those days when they just couldn't get it either because I couldn't get it or I wasn't explaining in their language.

I dreamed of it on those days when we got on each others nerves and I was about to go over the emotional abyss.

The days I wanted to pull in front of West Washington School and say, "Here you take them!" It was days like that I dreamed of a day like today.

While everyone who has ever attempted to school their own children knows there are days like that the truth is they are the exception.

I can honestly say I would never and I mean never trade a single day of the last twenty years of my motherhood for anything.

I remember when they each one started to read, I can still see the look in their eyes when something clicked.

I remember all the projects and crafts and stories.

I remember one day a week weather permitting we would go to the park, sometimes the Salem Park, sometimes Spring Mill and sometimes just that over look pull off on 135 south of Salem.

Then I thought about going to the nursing home to read to the residents. We would go to the living room area and I would read Little House on the Prairie while the kids sat with the residents who came to listen.

We went on field trips,local of course. They played soccer at the Y.

There were piano lessons, swim lessons, 4-H projects, violin lessons, karate and crocheting lessons.

They worked here on the farm with their dad everyday after school was over.
They picked tomatoes, packed tomatoes and sold tomatoes.

They raised feeder pigs, calves, and chickens.

They sold eggs and had ducks.

We ate together lived together, worked together and learned together.

I know there were things my children didn't get like they might have got if they went to a public or private school.

I also know they got a lot they wouldn't have got had they gone.

Heidi has decided to make her home her career. She is a wonderful cook, terrific with money, and an encouraging, helpful, loving wife.

Lucas is beginning his last year at Indiana State in Terre Haute and is doing wonderful.

Jessica completed her cosmetology school and has been working for two years now building up a great clientele.

Olivia will start school in the fall and her course is undecided but she is leaning toward the medical field.

While I''m pleased with all of that my real joy is in the kind of people they are.

They are not perfect, mistakes have been made and more will be.

They didn't have perfect parents, our mistakes were many.

When they were little I didn't realize how great my mistakes, now I do.

I ask as every mother does for mercy on my failures.

How many nights have I stayed awake asking God to please have mercy and fix what I had hurt. To restore what I had broken, either with a harsh impatient word or response.

When I survery my children now, I have to say God is faithful, He did step in, He did raise them up in spite of me.

I bow before Him and give Him all the praise, the honor and the glory for my children and I thank Him for giving me such a wonderful gift and for opening my eyes so that I could taste it to the fullest.

So today finds me at the end of a road.

I'll have to take one of the many turns I see, I'm thinking it will be the one with Mark standing at the end of it.

I'm sure he thinks it's about time.

Kitchen Things I've Learend Along the Way

Today I'm going to post a little list of things most know but some don't and everyone needs to.

Hope it's helpful to someone.

When you are frying bacon to keep your bacon from curling up don't turn it to often. Cook it slow and only turn when it is desired crispness on one side.

You know your potatoes are ready to mash when you can smash them on the side of the kettle with a fork.

Always use real butter.

Don't salt dried beans until they are almost done or they won't soften.

Rule of thumb for frying chicken is  oil heated to 350 degrees before you put the chicken in, add slowly and don't overcrowd your skillet, I always fry in two skillets. Turn meat every 15 minutes for about 45 minutes to an hour. When juice runs clear you know it's done.

Buttermilk makes the best cornbread. Melt butter in your cast iron skillet on the stove top add cornbread to it and let sit on stove top until it bubbles at edges then place in hot oven to finish.

If your brown sugar gets hard you can put it in a ziploc with a slice of bread and it will soften again.

Don't ever just pour your water or liquid into flour all at once. You have to add it in very slowly stirring after each addition or it will lump up and you'll never get the lumps out.

Even sweets need salt, Marks mom always says a pinch of salt in about everything keeps it from tasting flat.

Always measure exactly when baking. Level off your ingredients with a knife and don't shake flour down.

Don't over work pie crust or baking powder biscuits. They will be tough if you do.

Most cake mixes will be better and more moist if you bake them at 325 instead of the 350 the box calls for.

This is just a simple little list of things you may have known forever or some of it could be news to you.

Please add your comments of the little things you've learned along the way that someone starting out or maybe even someone that's been in the kitchen  a long time might not know.

I'm looking forward to learning from you!

In Due Season

I love to celebrate as well as the next person but from the conversations I've been hearing lately, I wonder if in our quest to make everything a big deal we have made it so nothing seems a big deal.

Maybe we've turned everything into a big burden.

It seems we try to make everyone experience everything sooner and sooner.

Remember when you were a kid and you couldn't wait to ride in the front seat?

It usually went down the line starting with the oldest.

It was just understood you waited your turn.

Then think about being a little girl and seeing the high school girls go to the prom. They were like a princess and you dreamed of the day that would be you.

But somewhere along the line we decided you shouldn't wait and started having 5th and 6th grade dances.

Then there is the whole issue of graduations, I've heard people say they have to go to pre-school graduations, kindergarten and Jr. high ones. They ask, do you take a gift to all of them?  If  I had a grandchild in preschool and they were having a graduation, of course I would go and of course,I would think they looked adorable but I would still find it unnecessary.

It sounded good but the truth is we haven't given our children anything by doing all of this, actually we've stolen from them.

Remember the saying, "Good things come to those who wait."  It really is true.

One of the biggest gifts you can give your children is the gift of waiting for the big things of life.

We all need to experience that right of passage, we need to be able to say with pride we've paid our dues, even in something as simple as getting to ride in the front seat.

Try not to cave into the pressure of giving it all to them to soon or one day you will find yourself unable to give anything pleasing.

We can't change everything but we are the captain of our homes and to a certain extent the course we chart is in our hands.

Chart with a voice of reason, in due season  it will lead to them into enjoying  a grand celebration!

The Apron Lady is Coming to Lost River!!

Every since we bought the farm at Lost River I have wanted to  use it to bless others.

I had all these ideas of how I was going to fix it up and decorate this old former Amish house.

Well, reality hit.

As Mark often reminds me we bought a farm not a house, the house just happened to come with it. A lot of money shouldn't be spent on the house at first because we have farm things to do. ( All you farm wives can recite this conversation word for word I'm sure)

It has been great to have the family dinners and holidays and I plan to keep that up. We're having a Mothers Day bonfire this Sunday night.

But I wanted to do even more. I kept thinking when I got things just how I wanted them, even though I wasn't sure how that was I would have something special.

I knew whatever it was while I wanted it to look nice, I mainly wanted it to look like my kitchen. I wanted it to be just like you happened to stop by just as the noon meal was coming up.

I wanted people to come in and be struck more by the home feel than by the decor.

Recently I asked myself, so if that's what you want why are you waiting?

So, I decided to go ahead.

I'm not waiting.

I'm so excited to announce the Apron Lady will be at Lost River on Saturday,Morning June 22 at 11;00 in the morning.

If you have not heard her you are in for a treat.

Bobby, Barb, Dana and I heard her last fall and she just did the Mother Daughter Banquet at Sugar Creek.

She brings her collection of aprons dating back as far as the early 1800s.

She will share the history of the apron and the changes in not only the apron but in the lives of women.

She is funny and informative and you will have a great time!

I know it's early yet but seating is limited so I wanted to let you know ahead of time.

Bring your family or friends and your apron or a family members apron, and most importantly bring the story that goes with it and share it with all of us that day.

Cost for the brunch and the speaker is $20.00.

If you can make it let me know.. I can't wait to have you all over!!

The Teaching of Motherhood is a Beautiful Thing

With Mothers Day upon us I've been thinking about when I became a mother for the first time.

That was twenty-five years ago.

Back when you didn't go to the Dr. as soon or as often you only had one ultra sound unless there was a problem and you had the baby one day and went home the next. This changed by the time I got to Liv and I stayed two days.

I had my babies when natural childbirth was in.  So I had all mine natural.

If you've ever been pregnant you know women share their labor stories like men share war stories. 

It seemed everyone had a story to tell about how awful it was.

So I prayed.  I prayed that my labor wouldn't hurt, then I remembered God had already told me it was going to hurt in His Word which made me think I might as well not pray.

Then I thought, God is God, and He can do whatever He wants so I kept on praying it wouldn't hurt.

I went a week over. I was huge. One morning I got ready to go to church and when I put my dress on I popped a button.

I threw myself down on the bed and cried, "Please God, let me have this baby"  Later I started having contractions and threw myself down on the bed and cried, "Not now God"  He had His hands full with me at this time.

I don't have a story to tell about going into labor, I always feel less than when women start telling about how they were in such and such place and their water broke or labor started.

I was induced each time.

God did hear my prayer and while labor wasn't pain free it was always very quick.

From the time I had my first contraction until Heidi was born was only two hours.

I remember telling the nurse my pains were really strong she smiled thinking I was going to be one of those. I mean I had only been in labor a couple of hours and it was my first baby.

As it turned out they were bad because I was ready to deliver.

I thought about a lot of things while I was in labor.

I thought about my Grandma's. When they had their children they had to face whatever came at them. There was no, "I've had enough now"  they had to go natural.

I thought about how labor, if everything is normal becomes a mind game of sorts.

I had to tell myself every pain was my friend and got me closer to where I wanted to be.

I told myself I had to go with each pain because it was doing something and I had to let it do it's job and not fight against it.

I thought of all the women who had done this thing before me and I knew I could too.

I thought about Mark sitting over there eating a Burger King Meal watching TV, but that's another story.

Along with all the natural childbirth stuff was all the bonding stuff. All the stories about how I would feel the minute the baby was born.

I failed in that department. None of that was true for me.

I found the beginnings of motherhood difficult.

It took me about a week to fully understand what was going on.

I remember the morning it clicked with me.

Just a few days after Heidi was born I looked over at her. she woke me up crying and it hit me. I was her mother. I had to be everything to her my mother had been to me.

I didn't think I could do it.

I mean look at me. I was a 23 year old woman who had just had a baby and I was spending the week at my mother's house so she could take care of me.

I think it was that mother of mine taking care of me that instilled such a desire to mother in me.

On those first few days when I was overwhelmed, emotional, engorged and exhausted, she took of me.

She took care of Heidi.

She taught me how to take care of Heidi.

She showed me how to diaper, bathe and wrap her up tight.

She showed me how to put myself last and my child first.

Mom took care of me and when the week was up she sent me home.

I know I've told some of you this before but I can see us standing in my old room right before we left her house to come home.

We had just changed Heidi and she was laying there on the bed content.

I was so scared. I asked Mom if she was afraid to send Heidi home with me and she said, "Why Heavens no, you will be a wonderful mother."

I don't know about being a wonderful mother but I know I learned to love and care for my kids.

Mom didn't have to take care of Heidi or me again until Lucas was born.

With Lucas I came home and mom came over everyday  for a few days to fix supper and pick up the house.

I remember after Jessica was born mom came over and I was sitting in the bed with Heidi on one side of me Lucas on the other and Jess in my arms. I looked up and mom was leaning against the bedroom door frame watching us. She held a dish towel in her hands and she said, "I guess you don't need me on this one."

I told her I always needed her but she had taught me and now I could go on my own.

I decided along time ago a girl never needs her mother more than when she becomes a mother.

If you had your mother during that time give thanks to God and your mother and if you have a daughter give  yourself to her  when her turn comes.

The teaching of motherhood is a beautiful thing.

Open Arms to Both Receive and Let Go

Today is a day full of signs of things to come.

Of course Heidi is at her house doing her own things, Lucas is still in Terre Haute but is to return home today for three weeks before he goes back for summer school.

Jess is at work and Liv has just left for the home school academy she attends every Monday.

I filled the crock pot with stuffed peppers early this morning for Mark and Jacob's dinner only to be told they wouldn't make it back in time and would just get a sandwich.

So, here I am, alone all day, the house is empty and I've already got supper made. All of that adds up to me time.

I've never been big on me time. I think it's overrated, over desired and over pushed.

Having said that though, I am excited for the next step of my journey.

I've had the absolute best trip in motherhood.

I have spent every minute with my babies and watched them grow into men and women I am pleased to say are ours.


You know, come to think of it, I don't really think my new season is about "me time" after all. I think it's  more "because of them time."

Maybe because I had them and had them to the fullest I'm ready to let them move on away from me.

I'm so thankful for the time we've been given, I'm sure  that time  has prepared us  for all our tomorrows.

I don't know what's ahead , I don't want to sit here and tell you how everything is going to be because I have no way of knowing. I don't know what my family may be called to walk through, I can only pray we will be able to walk where asked. To walk with humility and honor be it sunshine or rain.

So all of my thankfulness, excitement and enthusiasm for the past and the future is placed at the Lord's feet.

Remember what Proverbs 16:9 says, "The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his step."

I'm keeping that in mind as I plan on some of the fun things I would like for my future to hold.

I love life to be wide open, I don't like crowded time or space.

I want room for the good that comes along.

I've decided I'm at the time of life when the open arms theory works best, open to both receive and let go.

Then again, maybe that's always the best theory.