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They Manipulate as Newborns and Don't Understand as Toddlers....Really?

We've shared this simple little tip before but as we get new friends here it's always good to share again.
When you are dealing with your little ones about something go to them and get down on their eye level.
Look them in the eye and talk to them.
They are smarter than you think, they can understand more than you think when you are calm and speak simple.
If they are misbehaving and you need to do something, don't yell it from another room, if it really needs to be dealt with then it is important enough for you to stop what you are doing and go to the scene.
In the beginning years if you put the time in to training that it takes your toddler years will be much smoother.
An older woman once told me if my child was a normal healthy child I should have them under control by 18 months to 2 years old.
Now days people think that is crazy but it isn't.
Satan as always sold us a bill of goods.
Our society tells us that our newborns or tiny babies are manipulating us and we will spoil them if we pick them up and snuggle them.
They are saying that newborn is smart enough to manipulate.
Then put two years on that same child, let them start having a trantum because they can't do what they want or they won't do what we say and then we say they can't help it, they are just to young to understand.
Do you see the craziness of it?
Do you see how Satan has slipped these so called educated lines in on us?
A baby who cries to he held is not manipulating anyone.
It is a real need of a baby to be held and snuggled and made to feel secure.
If they don't get it when they need it they will struggle from that for a long time.
It is hard on us but it's just part of it.
Hold them when they need it everytime they need it and the day will come when they will start pushing away from you.
They will wiggle to get out of your arms.
When you make them feel secure, when you let them know you are there they will get brave enough little by little to leave you and they will grow up and stand on their own.
Now lets think about that 18 month old who turns red in the face and gets stiff when you try to put their coat on them.
You are afraid to do anything because they are just little and don't understand.
Oh don't you beleive it for a minute.
They know exactly what they are doing.
They don't want to put their coat on.
They know you want them to so they are going to resist you.
They are smart enough to know how to resist you and if you don't do something when it happens at home it will happen at the store, at your friends house, at church and daycare.
When they do that stuff don't forget who the parent is.
Get down on their level, take a hold of their shoulders let them feel your firm hands on their shoulders.
Tell them to stop it and say it slow and clear.
You have got to let them know they are not the boss, you are.
If they think they are they will be insecure.
I could say so much more but this is my parenting tip in a nutshell today.
One I learned from a lady a long time ago.
I listened to her and it worked.
  • Then I Thought of Home - Kelly Gray
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  1. I agree with you about the need for parents to be firm with toddlers. Too many wait until their kids are older to try to establish rules, or aren't consistent. It does take time & patience, but the payoff is they will learn to respect their elders & won't be nearly as difficult as many teenagers are. Both of our kids are now grown--responsible, honest, hard-working, have wonderful spouses---& we're now trying to use the same principles with our 2-yr-old grandson. When our kids were little, my mother would sometimes say something was OK at her house. I reminded her how we 4 kids were raised, & that young children need 1 set of rules & the same routine---even when with their grandparents. Even though we didn't leave our kids with others often, they never acted out when being babysat. I made a point to always tell them if someone complimented us on their good behavior, & that it was the best compliment to ME to hear those reports. I've been involved with other kids all my life---church activities, daycare provider, chaperone, school teacher---& believe most kids want to please adults. Too many don't get attention when they're acting good, so they do whatever they have to in order to get attention--even if it's not a good reaction. In a nutshell, my approach to dealing with kids is the 'carrot & the stick' method---give them an incentive to do the right thing, but make sure they know the consequence for not doing right---then always respond appropriately as an adult. ;-)


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